What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Pineapple.

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I like touching my boobs

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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