why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

alert("Hello");

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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