two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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why am I writing this...im bored

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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TIMMY

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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School

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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