What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops