A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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You know whats funny Aids

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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