What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

Whats In My Trash? Bears

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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