What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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You know whats funny Aids

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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