What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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name 3 fruit begining with n a napple, a norange, and a nannana

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops