A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops