What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man walks Into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +2

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

404 Error: Joke not found

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops