If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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all the kids had fun

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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