How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Where's the soap?

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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