How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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