What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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