why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Your mom.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Knock knock *open*

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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