A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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