Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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