Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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