Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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Guess what What

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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