do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Please? No.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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