Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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ur gay

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops