Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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