How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

no really what are ur names?

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

your face

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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