Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Rebecca Black sings a song.

whats polish and black a polish black person

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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