i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Compton

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Jellybeans

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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