why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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hi anti joke

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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