A train poops its pants.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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women's rights

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It says so on your cap.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops