roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops