What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Obama.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Womens rights

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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