Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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