How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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whats 2+2? math.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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