a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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