Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A train poops its pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops