Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

well now

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Davey Peterson.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats yellow? lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops