Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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who is awesome? no one...

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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