Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Microwave

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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