When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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