What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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men

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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