Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

Please? No.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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