how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Women's Rights

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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