A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops