What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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