Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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