What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once upon a time, The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why so serious? Your brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops