What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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A seal walks into a club.

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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