what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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whats the capital of congo famine

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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