How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Knock knock Shut up

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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The Princess is in another castle

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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