Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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