A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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69

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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