Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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