How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Jellybeans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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