Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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